3 Guys & The Quest for the Holy Fail - Monster in the Closet

As you all know, the 3 Guys have been looking, nay, stalking the worst movie of all time. It's a truly tough job that often requires the sacrifice of our livers, but we're willing to do it anyway.

This weeks movie is the closest we have gotten to the coveted FAIL, and I don't know how it could get much closer. The movie is Monster in the Closet. This movie is so bad, Jimbo included a drink recipe just for this movie that is sure to make the movie experience a little better. I'll give you a hint, it has rum....lots of rum, and it will probably kill you. Yeah, that's how good the movie is.

So, check it out, HERE, and let me know what you think!

New Freddy Kruger trailer

I haven't been excited about this remake, until I heard whispers of a new trailer that is supposed to knock your socks off, and the whispers were correct with the latest Nightmare on Elm Street trailer. I think Jackie Earl Haley will be just fine as Freddy, don't you agree?


A Nightmare on Elm Street Trailer 2 in HD

Trailer Park Movies MySpace Video

Vader's real voice

So, everyone knows what Darth Vader sounds like, but, maybe not everyone knows that David Krouse was originally the man in the suit. In fact, going through the movie, he actually said all the dialogue in the film, and unfortunetly for him, he also thought he would be the final voice. So, imagine his surprise when he sat down with his big tub of popcorn as the space ships come flying through, only to find out he sounds like the CNN guy.

Anyway, here is a video of what Krouse sounded like going through the lines. Overall, I would have to say I'm very happy with the change.

DVD Review - Cirque Du Freak

This is another one of those Harry Potter cash-in films. This one stars John C. Reilly, but don't let it fool you, it's no barrel of laughs. I got a chance to see the DVD ahead of time. Check out my review HERE and let me know what you think.

DVD Review - The Box

So, the Box came out today on DVD, and I got a chance to review it before it came out. The package I had contained a DVD and Blue-Ray, which seems silly to me, but it ended up working out well for review sake. Although, if you only use DVD, don't buy this, there are no special features for it. Anyhow, check out my review HERE and let me know what you think!!

A Letter to Universal: You got it wrong

So, as I browsed my favorite movie sites today, I came across a fan letter to Universal, reguarding their latest monster movie, Wolf Man. This letter apparently came from a Twilight fan, and explains why Twilight fans are known for their psychosis, often times worse than Star Trek. Read on, and enjoy the comic relief at work here:

To whom this may concern:
This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remaking of the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a “were wolf”. I don’t see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is “supposed” to be the wolf? He sits in some chair and his entire body turns in to some mutated freak. If you would watch the transformation of Jacob Black, (Taylor Lautner) he doesn’t come close to looking as fake, cheap and or mutated as the wolf man. You tell me, who looks to be the better werewolf. Your stupid Wolf Movie didn’t even make the top Movie for the charts; Valentines Day WITH TAYLOR Lautner! Get that this is MY opinion and I felt I wanted to express it because I saw that your email was on your site. I wanted to let you know this is what i thought of the wolf man that sucks.

Thanks to The Movie Blog for that little Jewel. So, thoughts?

Reel Projections Podcast

So, the other day, yours truly was joined by Rabid Nick Refer to be guests on Creative Loafing's Reel Projections Podcast. It's where we take some time out of our day to talk about all the movie goings on, and of course, some of the movies coming out.

This week, we talked about Shutter Island, The Wolf Man, our Holy Fail outing, Teeth, Cop Out, Vagina Teeth, our imaginary friend, Jimbo, and Kevin Smith's war on Southwest. This was a lot of fun to do, so thank you, Joe Bardi. Check it out and let me know what you think!

REEL PROJECTIONS PODCAST

Too much trailer, or have I just seen too many?

Good ol' Rabid Nick and I were talking last night after we successfully guess the ending of Shutter Island, based on the trailer whether or not it was due to a crappy trailer or simply by us seeing too many of them. The Rabid One came up with a good point, blaming the mere concept of the film for the fact we've seen it before. If you want to check out the trailer, HERE it is.

So, while I would agree the concept is hardly new, and the twist, slightly used, this wouldn't be the first time the "surprise ending" was ruined by us nailing the ending 30 seconds into the trailer. While I think, for the most part, trailers these days to a great job of selling a movie for a specific demographic, I don't think they do a very good job of keeping secrets. So, go and check out a trailer, even Shutter Island, and see if you guess the ending correctly. At that point, pat yourself on the back, because you're a rockstar, or just blame it on the lack of creativity with some big box office movies, and either way, you'd probably be right.

So, what do you think, is it the trailers that give too much away, or are we just seeing too many? Let me know!

Wolf Man (2010) review

Wolf Man (2010) Review

The remake of the classic Lon Chaney Jr. monster movie is finally here after four different delays and about a hundred different directors. So, with all that, does it live up to the original? Well, of course not, but it still makes for an entertaining movie!

Everyone knows the story of the original, but the new movie decides to change the story a little bit, which leads to more action, more gore, and more screen time for the senior Talbot, played by Anthony Hopkins. After Larry Talbot’s brother is killed, he races home to find out who did it at the request of his brothers future wife. After dodging the questions of an inspector (played brilliantly by Hugo Friggin’ Weaving), he finds that a vicious monster is to blame. After he’s nearly killed, he realizes he is turning into the monster. His only hope is to end this, by stopping his brother’s killer, and to try not to kill the woman he loves.

While the surrounding characters were played really well by Hugo Weaving, Anthony Hopkins and Emily Blunt, the main character, played by Benecio Del Toro seemed flat and just plain boring. It could have been because everyone else seemed to really enjoy themselves on screen and often “chewed up the screen.” I also think the movie took away some of the drama and sadness of this kind man, turning into a monster and replaced it with gore, lots and lots of gore. The end result, however, was a flick that updated things to what the filmmakers thought is what audiences wanted, and for the most part, they were correct. There was action, some drama, great set pieces and a really good looking monster.

Now, the important part, everyone’s first question, “how was the transformation sequence?” Well, in a word, friggin’ gorgeous (yeah, it’s two words, just move on). The transformation didn’t wreak of CGI, and once the wolf man was out, it looked incredible. Truly the makeup department deserves something for their work. They seemed to stay true to the original look of the beast, while updating and improving on everything. In fact, the only part of the movie that didn’t look great was a circus bear, which was CGI for some bizarre reason.

The twist, which I won’t ruin, was kinda lame, and was an attempt and bringing back the drama, but failed simply due to Del Toro’s lack of character. It did involve, however, a really good action scene with a wolf man, and well, another wolf man. I know! Can it get much better?

So, overall, I liked this movie. The filmmakers managed to capture the overall feeling of dread on the landscape, innovated the wolf man and made him a monster for today’s audience, and if del Toro could’ve given a bit more emotion, the film would’ve been incredible. So, overall, I’m going with an 8 out of 10.

3 Guys & The Quest for the Holy Fail - Teeth

So, once again, we are after the Holy Fail of cinema, and this week, we went with a reccomendation that was so terrifying, we nearly didn't make it. But, fortunetly for you, we made it through with barely a bite. The movie is called Teeth, and, well, you'll have to read click HERE to see what we thought.

I would love to hear what you think, and what you think of the formula (the Q & A) way the article was done. And, be prepared for next weeks Monsters in the Closet.

Biggest lightsaber battle ever

Yes, they put a whole bunch of geeks in a mall, with lightsabers and turned them loose. I know, that description alone will do it, right?

Wolfman (1941) DVD review

So, on the week the new Wolfman comes out, they decided to re-release the classic Wolfman with Lon Chaney Jr. I was fortunate enough to get my hands on a copy, and I have all the details about the film, the special features and so much more. So, HERE is my review of the DVD. And, tonight, I'm off to see the new one. I hope it can compare to the original, because the original is great!

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief review

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, now, I know what you’re thinking, that title is a friggin’ mouthful, well, you’re right. Now that we have that out of the way, lets talk about the movie, and just so I’m clear, I’ve never read the books, I’m just going to talk about the movie. Percy Jackson is a Harry Potter clone directed by the same director, Chris Columbus, who directed the first two Harry Potters. While the premise was quite intriguing, and the movie was quite action-packed, the film had less depth than Harry Potter.

Percy Jackson is just a normal guy, in a normal world until Zeus and Poseidon meet to discuss the fact that Zeus’s famed weapon, the lightning bolt was stolen, and everyone is blaming it on Poseidon’s son, Percy. And, unless Zeus’s bolt is returned to him, things would get bad. So, Percy discovers he’s a demigod and must go to a training camp run by Pierce Brosnan’s Cemitaur (half man, half horse) for other demigods, where he is joined by his protector, a satyr (half man, half goat) and meets a variety of other demigods (apparently, the Gods like to get busy), but none as powerful as he. One demigod in particular is the daughter of Athena, named Annabeth.

After Hades demandes the lightning bolt in exchange for Percy’s mom, Percy leaves the camp with Annabeth and the goat-guy in tow in a series of big adventures involving Medusa, expertly played by Uma Thurman, a Hydra (3 headed dragon) and a lotus patch before reaching the underworld to bargain for his moms soul, ending in a semi-climactic battle at the top of the Empire State Building. Whew.

As I said, this is clearly an attempt to adapt a series to get kids into theaters as Harry Potter rides off into the sunset on a horse of gold. While this movie had more action than the first Harry did, it lacked the depth and awe-inspiring world of the Potter movies. I love Greek mythology, so seeing old tales of Gods quarreling, and chicks who can turn people to stone was a welcome return. The movie, overall, seemed to start off slow, before simply jumping from big set-piece to big set-piece before ending at a rather boring scene on Mt. Olympus, which I thought would be more…epic.

Overall, I think this movie will entice kids to pickup the books, which is a great thing, and will give some entertaining moments to adults as well (like how the gate to hell is underneath the Hollywood sign). While it isn’t as rich of a start as Harry, it has loads of potential in additional sequels, but stands well enough on its own. Percy Jackson was quite a good hero, as were his sidekicks, but the best parts were that of the bit parts of Pierce Brosnan, Joey Pantiliano, and Rosario Dawson.

Overall, a 6.5 out of 10.

a Marty and his mom sex scene from Back to the Future

Yeah, you read that correctly. Remember the scene where Marty is "parking" (no, not porking) with his mom in Back to the Future? Well, Collegehumor.com has a video of what happened when they cut away, and it's not pretty. Come on, you know you wanna click...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Nolan has the whole DC world in his hand

After Brian Singer’s less than enthusiastic rendition of the blue boy scout known as Superman Returns, nearly everyone had thought that Superman would be dead. When the studio wanted to do a reboot, all geekdom let out a small grown, not wanting to see another tale of how Superman learns to be Superman and stalks Lois Lane. And, after the rights to Supe’s origin story were lost back to the estate of the original creators, it seemed the 2006 Superman Returns would be the last time we saw such a movie.

Well, there seems to be good news from the DC camp in the form of Christopher Nolan. On the heels of news he is working on a third Batman script, it was announced the director of The Dark Knight is to be in a “godfather role” for Superman to ensure the project is successful. There is no word on whether he will direct the project, but most sources are doubtful.

The new movie, which is supposed to go in a completely new direction will be without an origin story, and will be a reboot of sorts. There was talk of a grittier Superman that is more modern and real, similar to the newer graphic novels, as opposed to the boyscout of the movies.

So, would you like to see a grittier Superman? How about a reboot? Does anyone even care about the last son of Krypton?

3 Guys & Chuck the Podcast - Chuck vs. The Mask

So, we did it. We made it to the Chuck break at the Olympics, and so far we've podcasted all the episodes so far, which is not easy to do with three guys and their crazy schedules. But, it's up, the latest podcast for your listening pleasure.

CHUCK VS. THE MASK podcast

3 Guys & The Quest for the Holy Fail- Deathbed

This is the first attempt at what could be a weekly column about looking for the worst movie EVER MADE. Obviously, it will take one holy hell of a fail to get the title, but that won't stop us from continuing the search.

So, check out this weeks column on the movie Death Bed: The bed that Eats! (no, seriously, that is the title)

3GUYS & THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY FAIL

Cop Out Redband trailer

The Redband trailer for Kevin Smith’s Cop Out is up, and unlike the previous trailer, it’s really funny!

The first trailer had no resemblance director Kevin Smith’s style that was made famous through moviegeek land with titles like Clerks and Chasing Amy. The second, shows the jokes in the movie that we have come to expect from the acclaimed director.

Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan look really funny, and finally, I’m looking forward to the movie. Check it out, but because it’s a redband, there are some things that aren’t family friendly.

Legion Review

Paul Bettany as Michael the angel, who comes down from heaven to save some kid. That's what I picture the pitch to be, but somewhere between the pitch and the final cut lies all kinds of crap, a lot of stolen scenes and a really bad ending.

Legion is the story of Michael, the famous left hand of God, who comes down from heaven, in defiance of God to save a kid who was supposed to die. Michael meets up in a diner in the middle of nowhere with the pregnant chick, and the workers of the small diner. Once Michael arms the attendants of the diner, they prepare to fend off hordes of possesed people in an attempt to bring this child into the world.

Sure, the incredibly well written summary I just gave sounds kinda cool, if you like angels with fully automatic machine guns. Unfortunetly, it was the execution and the lack of identity of the film that lead to the mess.

I had a lot of problems with different aspects of the film, including how everyone just decided to take up arms against other people just from the word of some tattoo'd guy. During the big invasion, which kinda took the identity of a zombie movie, we get some little kid doing his best Chucky impression (and I'm not talking Jon Gruden), later we get outside the diner for a post-apocolyptic feel, and finally, we get a Lion King moment. The entire time, I was wondering where the cool powers Bettany's Michael showed at the beginning of the movie would come back, but I guess he decided to go for looking cool using a machine gun. His final fight was not very good, but I believe he truly gave everything he could, but was hindered by a rough script.

There were parts of the movie I liked, I promise. I thought Dennis Quaid was great, albeit pretty similar to Dennis Quaid, but he was the best part of the movie. As I said above, Paul Bettany tried really hard to be a tough, military type leader, but I think the script was so ... unpolished, it made it pretty tough.

Overall, this is one of those movies that should be relinquished to a rainy day watching on TBS or something.

From Paris with Love Review

It had become clear to me that I haven't reviewed to many movies on here lately. Sure, I've seen some movies, mainly bad ones, but I haven't posted my thoughts on here. I know, I know, I'm slackin'.

So, as the take-charge guy I am, I stormed into the movie editors office of Loafing and demanded he hand over a pre-screaning...or else! So, of course, he complied, and out came my screening for From Paris With Love.

Yeah, that would've been cool if that happened, but whatever. I got a chance to see a movie, albeit, one I would never go to the theaters to see normally, and I did me a review! Check it out!

Creative Loafings review of From Paris with Love (Yes, the one with the bald John Travolta)

Paranormal Activity credited names

Paranormal Activity had the people that "demanded" the movie in their area put their names in the credits. So, without futher delay, here is the list of the names. Check out yours truly on page two, and Rabid Nick on page 3.

Credits List

3 guys and Chuck -Chuck Vs. First Class

I forgot to post the podcast for last weeks episdoe of Chuck. Anyway, here it is, if you haven't seen it yet. I really enjoyed the episode, and the podcast was a blast, as always.
So, give it a listen, and let me know what you think!

3 Guys & Chuck

Top 10 Revenge movies

As an audience, we all love to see those movies that show what happens when normal human beings are pushed past their breaking point, and the badassery that can result. With Edge of Darkness coming out, it got me thinking about some of the other revenge movies out there. So, with that in mind, here is my list, and no, it doesn’t include Jaws 4: The Revenge.

As always, if you have one I missed, (and I’ve heard I need to see me some Charles Bronson) let me know in the comments section below, just don’t sick Liam Neeson on me.

So, check out the list over at Creative Loafing: