Joss Whedon's letter to the owners of the Terminator franchise

There has been a ton of rumors floating around that Joss Whedon was trying to buy up the Terminator franchise. Now, while I have to admit, my inner (and outer for that matter) geek freaked out, I knew it was a bit silly. So, check out the actual letter sent to the owners and decide for yourself, was it all a bunch of bumkiss? And, after reading this letter, I'm currently trying to get Joss Whedon to write for Kevin's Movie blog....maybe call it "Jevin's movie blog" ... see what I did there? I put the "J" for Joss where the "K" for Kevin is...ya know, make him feel important and all.

Dear Sirs/Ma’ams,



I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where ‘hood’ was capitalized ’cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the ‘grapevine’ that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.


No, you didn’t miscount. That’s four — FOUR! — zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here’s what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don’t ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture — and my pretend play — as any I can think of. It’s far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:


1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).


2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.


3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.


4) Christian Bale’s John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)


5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There’s more — this brain don’t quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) — but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I’d like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including “Song of Norway” (no current franchise offer).




Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

How it should have ended: Terminator/Back to the Future

So, I had never heard of Howitshouldhaveended.com, but after this video, it could become my favorite website ever....yes, better than muppetsporn.com (I really ought to see if that website is real).

So, the folks over at Howitshouldhaveended.com put together a great mashup of Terminator and Back to the Future, and showed what could and should have happened. Seriously this 1 minute trailer is better than Terminator 3 and Salvation combined!

So, check it out, and remember, you don't have to take my word for it!  (Take THAT LeVar Burton)

Are we to blame for the Suck that has invaded Hollywood?

In many of my posts, I suggest my readers (both of 'em) to "stay cool, movie geeks." According to one article, it's an insult, for movie geeks are the reason the suck has invaded such franchises as X-men, Terminator and others. So, could it be true? Could it be that our geekiness and total movie knowledge has corrupted the very thing we geek out over?

There is a great article on Cinematical, done by a more talented writer than I, that claims the charge of Hollywood suckification (you know you like that word) is wrongfully placed on movie geeks by a column on The Guardian's website. The article goes on to say that the masses are more responsible for the poor movie quality of franchise movies like Terminator: Salvation and X-Men Origins: Wolverine because they are the ones that are easily persuaded by trailers and marketing etc. I don't agree with this, either.

The responsibility for the ending of Terminator: Salvation was that of the director, and more likely, the Hollywood execs. They thought the masses would enjoy a much tighter, cleaner ending than the one originally laid out. The movie geeks did freak out about the ending, but I think that was just a sample reaction of the audience they sought, and in their infinite wisdom, they figured out, an ending that they thought would result in a better reaction. Unfortunately, they were only partially right, the original ending would have resulted in disastrous reviews, but the ending they chose was too far the other direction to be considered good. Therefore, their over-reaction to a movie geek freak out is the problem.

So, next time someone blames a movie geek for the problem of movie geek related movies, tell them to blame the Hollywood filmmakers for over reacting to an audience. A wise man once said to "give them what they want, but only enough to keep them coming back for more." I don't know who it is, maybe it was Keanu Reeves, or maybe it was Socrates, but, either way, the theory is sound. Maybe Hollywood should think about that.

I would also say there are very few movies truly made for the movie geek in this day and age. Sure, there are often tips of the hat to true movie-goers, but I think the smart movie makers are gearing the movies toward the masses, as opposed to the movie geeks. I would think J.J Abrams Star Trek is a perfect example. While the movie had many little rewards for the movie geek, the movie was catered to the casual movie-goer. And, look how the movie did...far better than any other Star Trek movie, all of which truly catered to the Trekkie community.

So, what do you think, do the movie geeks need to bare the responsibility for the poor movie quality of the movies, or is it something else?

Until we have the answer, stay cool movie geeks!

Top time travel movies of all time:

Time travel has been a staple to Sci-fi for a long time now; everyone seems to love the idea of going through time, putting right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap....sorry, I digress. Anyway, some call time travel a cheap way out of writing a good script, but I think it is hard to do it correctly, and if done correctly, is all that much harder, and shows a much better writer.

So, without any further delay, I present the top 10:
Honorable Mention: The Final Countdown (1980) - This piece of Sci-fi gold star a young Martin Sheen and involves a modern U.S. Aircraft carrier that somehow gets dropped into the middle of a battle between U.S. and Japanese forces in World War II. A truly great movie, with an exciting premise.

10) Deja Vu - Starring Denzel Washington and Val Kilmer, an exciting, action packed time travel movie about a government agency investigating a horrible riverboat tragedy. A pretty decent modern day time travel story.
9) Time Cop - Jean Claude Van Damn at his finest. This movie gets bonus points for special effects, trying to establish rules of time travel, and the fact Mia Sara, Ferris Bueller's girlfriend is nakey.
8) Butterfly Effect - The fact there is an Ashton Kutcher movie on here speaks wonders for the writing, and Amy Smart. The movie established an interesting premise, and established the classic rule of time travel movies: anything you do will have serious repercussions on future events. This movie lost points for the theatrical release, but gained some back for the directors version of the ending.
7) Army of Darkness - Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi...'nough said. This movie was all kinds of awesome and funny. The trilogy was great, but the third incarnation had some great special effects, some fantastic writing and Bruce being Bruce. This movie got some serious bonus points for the ending.
6) Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Yeah, yeah, the whale one; shut up, I liked it! Anyway, the movie was fun and campy, and a great ride, which was something different for Trek at the time. This movie established the idea that anyone with a starship just needs to get close enough to the son, and voila! Extra points for Leonard Nemoy's spock saying "one damn minute, admiral."
5) Star Trek: First Contact - Are you noticing a pattern yet? There seems to be a theme of time travel and Star Trek. This one pits the next generation crew against one of the best bad guys the series has ever known; the Borg. The crew goes back in time to stop the borg from ending a flight that brings the vulcans to earth for the first time.
4) Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - The break through role for Keanu Reeves. This movie gets bonus points for having the late, great George Carlin as the guy who helps Bill & Ted save the world, and ace their history test. Believe it or not, quantum theorists have said this, despite all others seems to follow the rules of time travel the closest, phone booth or not.
3) Terminator - This series is kinda the reason for the poll. The series had lots of time traveling heros coming back to save the famed John Connor, including the best, Robert Patrick as the T-1000. Arguably the Governators best role, the second, especially, is one of the best movies of all time. This movie gets some special points for innovation, but it loses points because the governator starts out naked.
2) Star Trek (2009) - The movie just came out, so I won't ruin anything for you. I was hesitant to put this movie so high up, for fear people will say it is just because it's new, but this movie does a great job of using time travel as a way of rebooting a franchise without telling you to forget about the last 40 years. Besides the best movie of the summer, this movie handles time travel with ease, and hardly feels the the puzzling McGuffin of other movies.
1) Back to the Future - The name gives it away. This is a trilogy that is among my favorites, whenever it is on, I will watch it. Besides being a great memory from my childhood, this movie has some real staying power with excellent performances from Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox. This movie, through a digital console on the dash of the famed Delorean (which I want so bad due to this movie) keeps the audience well aware of the time of when and where they are, and also deals with alternate time threads (when the timeline skewed into a tangent) and did so with comedy, charm, and a lot of heart.

So, agree, disagree, or did you think of something I missed? Let me know!
Until then, stay cool, movie geeks!