The Honeymoon Phase, The First Act, the cute Phase, there are so many different terms for that cute, flirty time in a relationship when you're nervous, and trying to figure a person out. In this phase, the person could tell you they've killed more men than Cecil B. Demill, and it wouldn't matter. No flaws are visible at this time, and this phase is responsible for more illnesses in others than even the pig flu. It's a great time, but why is it that when you exit phase one, and head to phase two, that the cute names, and the perception of fun end? Poor phase two! It didn't do anything to you! My amazing fiance actually wrote a blog about when you know when the honeymoon phase is over. But, after phase one is over, and it's agreed upon that you are entering phase two, and possibly flirting with the nigh-unobtainable phase 3, I'm wondering why more people don't have cute names for it. Ya know? This should be the fun phase! Maybe that's what I'll call it.
We were talking the other day, and we both love the fact we haven't lost the fun and excitement and cutesy-ness of the honeymoon phase as we transitioned into the fun phase. But I was told the fun phase is harder, because that new-ness isn't there anymore, and some of the cute-ness is dropped, as you get more comfortable with each other, consider and look at phase 3 (it apparently doesn't have any nicknames). They said most couples throw in the towel in phase 2, because you're in the process of being together, and merging souls. Or at least bank accounts.
It left me wondering what, exactly was so hard about the fun phase. I would say, I am pretty well in the fun phase. My better half has moved in, we've gotten engaged, and combined bank accounts. The moment I truly knew there was no question we were in the fun phase, however, came one day when she was folding my unmentionables. I didn't even know the laws of physics would allow you to achieve such a feat, and as I sat and contemplated this universal change, I realized we were clearly in the fun phase. Any woman that folds unmentionables for me is way past any type of honeymoon. However, I realized this fun phase is the best part so far! Shut up! It isn't because she folds my laundry, it's because I now know this truly magnificent woman and get to spend my time with her. I'm not scared on looking stupid anymore, I'm not scared she will find out some dirty secret, I just get to enjoy her company. Besides, after living together, most dark, dirty secrets come out.
In the fun phase, you learn way more about a person. You learn all the little things you try to hide in the honeymoon phases, and you learn all the little things about a person that makes them unique, and the love of your life. I hate it when people say you learn someones flaws. That's so stupid. I think that's something I brought over, carry-on style from the honeymoon phase. I refuse to acknowledge flaws. I think you accept the whole person, and for me, when I decided on doing that, the flaws just became part of the woman I love. So, I recognize things that make her the love of my life, and someone who is unique, not a list of flaws.
I love getting to go places and do things with your significant other that are uncomfortable in the honeymoon phase, like spending weekends in hotels, or even just relaxing over at a family members house. All are more relaxed and entertaining when you know she's comfortable there, and you're not worried that she secretly hates your family and just want to get out of there. By this time, you've talked about things you like and dislike with your partner, and so you know, without a doubt, you both are having a great time. The fun phase allows you to leave the worrying and doubt behind, and just enjoy the time you have.
Two nights ago, the amazingness of phase two hit me. I was cooking her dinner, trying to do half as good a meal as she so frequently makes for me. My gorgeous fiance was helping me cook bacon as I got different components together, and as we prepared to sit down to a movie and dinner. As we were getting things ready, she extended a friendly touch, as we expertly navigated through our home, tasked with only trying to make each other happy and not burning the bacon. I stopped, as the realization that this was the life I was in hit me. I smiled, and kissed my beautiful fiance and said that this moment was what I had dreamt about, and without me knowing it, it had happened, and we were together. That's what phase two is about.
So, I have honestly no idea what phase 3 is about. I guess it starts with "I do" and continues on from there. I hope to take some things from phases one and two, though. I want to take the excitement from phase one. I want to be able to continue getting nervous and anxious right before she walks through the door, or when I kiss her. I want to take the ability to relax, and be myself, and enjoy my beautiful love from phase 2, along with the notion that are lives have combined into something incredible and very special, and whatever phase 3 is, if I have those components, I say "bring it on."
Looking for the rest of the fun tales, or as I refer to them "The Chronicles of the Wedding to Remember: The Directors Cut?" Well, here you go:
Part 1: A Wedding to Remember
Part 2: Secret of the Booze
Part 3: Revenge of the Colors
Part 4: The Voyage Home (Suck it Star Trek)
Part 5: Show Me the Money
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