Should Cell Phone Jammers become common place?

EDITORS NOTE: This appeared in Creative Loafing. Click HERE to check it out and read the really interesting comments that followed!!

As the hero comes busting through the door, he confronts the villain, and sees the damsel in distress, he debates how to make his grand move, only to be stopped by the latest hip hop song as the person behind you in the theater picks up their phone. The person pretends to be considerate, whispering, talking about what restaurant they want to go to later, or what they are up to the next day as the rest of the audience in the theater all contemplates exactly how long of a sentence they would get for murdering a theater patron. We all have been there, and we have all contemplated the murder of an inconsiderate theater member with a cell phone, but what would happen if theaters picked up a handy little cell phone jammer? Would you support that decision?

Cell phone jammers are down to around $200, but it’s the morality and legality of the situation, more than the cost. So, first off, would you support a jammer morally? Would you mind the idea of having no touch to the outside world while you are watching a movie? Some would say they wouldn’t mind not having the annoying talking person that is always behind them, but they would think twice about not getting email, texts or phone calls. For me, I would have no problem shutting the outside world off for a movie, especially one I am really excited for, and would probably consider cold blooded murder on the person that interrupts it. If I am worried my house is on fire, my relatives are dead, or my dog just kidnapped a school bus full of penguins, then I would choose a later showing for the movie, end of story.

So, if people like me wouldn’t mind the jammer, than it must be illegal, right? Jammers themselves aren’t illegal, but the idea of blocking an emergency phone call is a legal problem the theaters probably don’t want to get themselves mixed up with, and is probably the reason we still get texts during movies. I am sure there are hundreds of lawyers out there, ready to pounce on any theater wanting to stop what some people consider an emergency, citing some breach in constitutional rights. Considering I am not a lawyer, I won’t cite the actual laws, but if anyone would like to look up the clause blocking me from my cinema bliss, feel free to post it in the comments.

When I am lucky enough to see a pre-screening for a movie, they ask you to turn off your cellphones, and they actually remind you several more times before the movie starts. During the movie, the theater is scanning with a video camera and some actually use infrared cameras to look for heat signatures, to stop movie pirates. However, since they can’t distinguish between a camcorder and a person with an active social life, they simply ask you to leave immediately. I think this should become a regular practice, and anyone caught with an active cell phone should be asked to leave. A few months of this practice will result in people turning off their cell phones or paying a lot of money for a partially viewed movie.

The only other idea is a theater bouncer. Take one of the big, gym loving bouncers from Ybor and offer them free popcorn (they love that stuff) and ask them to simply walk up and down the isle looking menacing. If he sees a cell phone out, he is allowed to tackle that person, dragging them out by their hair. After a few beaten theatergoers are dragged out in front of your eyes, you will be much less likely to forget to turn off your cell phone.

So, what do you think? Should cell phone jammers become common place? How about my theater bouncer idea? What is your idea for a more pleasant theater experience (barring the fact that we aren’t above fully automatic weapons)?